It was fun and we thank God for sending his Son to be born in a stinky, damp, and chilled barn over 2000 years ago. I love that this holiday is so joyful and happy. It makes my heart full. :)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Merry Christmas
It was fun and we thank God for sending his Son to be born in a stinky, damp, and chilled barn over 2000 years ago. I love that this holiday is so joyful and happy. It makes my heart full. :)
Saturday, December 25, 2010
'twas the late night before Christmas
It's 3:30 am - night before Christmas. I'm pretty sure I am not the only parent awake wrapping and getting everything ready for Christmas morning. All the gifts are wrapped and I just finished Hubby's gift. It's not the "main" gift. We decided a while back that the new iPhone 4 would be our gifts to each other. So yesterday we got them. We are both very excited about them... But enough about how giddy I am over my new toy.
I put together a frame of Hubby's favorite memories from our "Victory Trip" to Europe last fall. I just finished it and I'm about to head to bed before I fall asleep with the scissors and tape in hand. I can't help but smile as I look it over. That trip was so amazing! 11 countries in 3 weeks! We climbed the Eiffel tower, walked in the mountains in Switzerland, rode the gondola in Venice, I met all of Hubby's relatives in former Yugoslavia and he met mine in Romania. Then we wrapped up our trip by sightseeing Budapest, finding Hubby's roots in Slovakia, and flying out out of Vienna. It was spectacular.
I haven't had a chance to wake up as early as I did on Monday morning. This week was a whirlwind of running around and going to bed much too late. I hope maybe I can jump back into reading that book I started on prayer.
I'm off to bed. I hope to catch a couple of hours of sleep before I find a monkey jumping on my bed begging me to wake up so we and open presents.
Merry Christmas!
I put together a frame of Hubby's favorite memories from our "Victory Trip" to Europe last fall. I just finished it and I'm about to head to bed before I fall asleep with the scissors and tape in hand. I can't help but smile as I look it over. That trip was so amazing! 11 countries in 3 weeks! We climbed the Eiffel tower, walked in the mountains in Switzerland, rode the gondola in Venice, I met all of Hubby's relatives in former Yugoslavia and he met mine in Romania. Then we wrapped up our trip by sightseeing Budapest, finding Hubby's roots in Slovakia, and flying out out of Vienna. It was spectacular.
I haven't had a chance to wake up as early as I did on Monday morning. This week was a whirlwind of running around and going to bed much too late. I hope maybe I can jump back into reading that book I started on prayer.
I'm off to bed. I hope to catch a couple of hours of sleep before I find a monkey jumping on my bed begging me to wake up so we and open presents.
Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 20, 2010
New Beginnings
I woke up at 5 am this morning. I had a lot on my mind and I could not still my thoughts. I tried to go back to sleep but sleep did not come. In my distress I called out to God in a silent prayer and in my heart I felt his answer. Get up, child, and pray.
It's a few days to Christmas and I decided I am making a clean start. This random Monday morning I woke up and God convicted my heart ... about my life... about the lack of prayer in my life and the lack of dependence on God. I constantly keep trying to do things on my own - keep trying to be "strong enough" and to "be better" - a better wife, a better mom, a better friend. I forget to lean on God and allow him to make me those things. I forget that in the Bible it says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.: (2 Corinthians 12:9)
I washed my face, put on a pot of coffee and grabbed my Bible. I sat down at the breakfast table and prayed to God - at 6 AM (something I have never done, nor did I ever think I could do). I asked him to forgive me for my distance, to come to my aid and hear my cry for deliverance. I cannot be better without his help and I needed to surrender my pride. But to be honest I struggle with prayer. Not because I don't know what to pray for, or because I don't know what to say or how to say it... but rather because I don't understand prayer and how it works.
We recently completed a study in our church's small group (LIFE group as we call it) that was on PRAYER. And yet as we neared the end I remember sitting across from Hubby over lunch one day and confessing that I really don't get it. How does it really work? I fully believe God is all powerful and so how can I - as a tiny human - even try to ask anything of him... He already knows better than me. And Hubby explained it to me gently and what I got was "He wants a relationship with us".
So if we're supposed to have a relationship, I've been a pretty bad companion. God wants me to tell him what I need and what I want so that when He gives me those things, or come through for us in some miraculous or amazing or surprising way I can praise Him. I can thank him. I can jump for joy and tell the world.
I decided to start at the most basic - yet most powerful - of prayers : "Our Father".
Our Father, Who is in heaven,
Holy is Your Name;
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
as we forgive those who sin against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
I remembered a friend from church lent me a really good book by Max Lucado "The Great House of God" that has an in-depth look at that prayer. I pulled it off my shelf and started reading it.
My eyes were opened to many different things about prayer this morning. I was able to read about 4 chapters. I look forward to tomorrow morning when I will set my alarm and wake up before the kids, before Hubby and spend quiet uninterrupted time with my Father... a loving Father who waits for me so we can talk.
One portion that really touched my heart was the one that talked about the names of God. The most widely used name for God in the Bible is "Abba" which means Father but in the most basic, layman terms - essentially, Daddy.
It talked about the name "Elohim" that was mostly used in the first book of the Bible, Genesis. It means God is the strong one, he is the creator.
Then it talked about Jacob and how in the original language Jacob referred to God as JEHOVAH-RAAH - God as a caring shepherd. Jacob says "the LORD has led me all my life". And it talks about how Jacob's character was very difficult to lead. He was a trickster and yet God lovingly led him and showed him the way to go all his life.
Abraham called him JEHOVAH-JIREH "the LORD provides". He provided a new place for him to go - Canaan. When Lot chose the better land, God still provided for Abraham's sheep and prospered him. When Sarah could not have a baby it was the LORD (JEHOVAH-JIREH) that promised to multiply them as the stars in the heavens and then provided a baby for them in their old old age. And it was still the LORD our God (Jehovah-jireh) that provided a ram for Abraham to sacrifice instead of his only son. (I get goosebumps just thinking about his goodness).
Gideon called God JEHOVAH-SHALOM - "the Lord is peace". He was Gideon's peace before the battle... the peace before the storm. I sure did call out to God by the name JEHOVAH-SHALOM when Nate was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. And he provided a peace for us that passed all understanding. It guarded our hearts and sailed us through the chemo. So then we praise God the one who is JEHOVAH-ROPHE - "I am the LORD who heals you." (Exodus 15:26) Lucado says:
"God is the one who heals. He may use a branch of medicine and a branch of a hospital or a branch of a live oak tree, but he is the one who takes the poison out of the system. He is Jehovah-rophe."
And finally he talked about God by the name of JEHOVAH-NISSI, "the LORD is my banner". He described a battle scene: "in the heat of battle, soldiers feared getting separated from their army. For that reason a banner was carried into conflict, and if a fighter found himself alone, the raised flag would signal safety."
So I will lift my eyes up and look to Jehovah-nissi in my battle and trust that same God to be Jehovah-raah who will guide me and direct me in the way I should go. I will praise God as the one who provides the peace while I wait for deliverence and trust that it is He who will provide it. Not by my own strength but His.
God promised through his son Jesus, "those who seek me, find me". So here goes my journey to claim that promise for myself. I am looking for God.
- daughter of the King, Rebeca
It's a few days to Christmas and I decided I am making a clean start. This random Monday morning I woke up and God convicted my heart ... about my life... about the lack of prayer in my life and the lack of dependence on God. I constantly keep trying to do things on my own - keep trying to be "strong enough" and to "be better" - a better wife, a better mom, a better friend. I forget to lean on God and allow him to make me those things. I forget that in the Bible it says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.: (2 Corinthians 12:9)
I washed my face, put on a pot of coffee and grabbed my Bible. I sat down at the breakfast table and prayed to God - at 6 AM (something I have never done, nor did I ever think I could do). I asked him to forgive me for my distance, to come to my aid and hear my cry for deliverance. I cannot be better without his help and I needed to surrender my pride. But to be honest I struggle with prayer. Not because I don't know what to pray for, or because I don't know what to say or how to say it... but rather because I don't understand prayer and how it works.
We recently completed a study in our church's small group (LIFE group as we call it) that was on PRAYER. And yet as we neared the end I remember sitting across from Hubby over lunch one day and confessing that I really don't get it. How does it really work? I fully believe God is all powerful and so how can I - as a tiny human - even try to ask anything of him... He already knows better than me. And Hubby explained it to me gently and what I got was "He wants a relationship with us".
So if we're supposed to have a relationship, I've been a pretty bad companion. God wants me to tell him what I need and what I want so that when He gives me those things, or come through for us in some miraculous or amazing or surprising way I can praise Him. I can thank him. I can jump for joy and tell the world.
I decided to start at the most basic - yet most powerful - of prayers : "Our Father".
Our Father, Who is in heaven,
Holy is Your Name;
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
as we forgive those who sin against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
I remembered a friend from church lent me a really good book by Max Lucado "The Great House of God" that has an in-depth look at that prayer. I pulled it off my shelf and started reading it.
My eyes were opened to many different things about prayer this morning. I was able to read about 4 chapters. I look forward to tomorrow morning when I will set my alarm and wake up before the kids, before Hubby and spend quiet uninterrupted time with my Father... a loving Father who waits for me so we can talk.
One portion that really touched my heart was the one that talked about the names of God. The most widely used name for God in the Bible is "Abba" which means Father but in the most basic, layman terms - essentially, Daddy.
It talked about the name "Elohim" that was mostly used in the first book of the Bible, Genesis. It means God is the strong one, he is the creator.
Then it talked about Jacob and how in the original language Jacob referred to God as JEHOVAH-RAAH - God as a caring shepherd. Jacob says "the LORD has led me all my life". And it talks about how Jacob's character was very difficult to lead. He was a trickster and yet God lovingly led him and showed him the way to go all his life.
Abraham called him JEHOVAH-JIREH "the LORD provides". He provided a new place for him to go - Canaan. When Lot chose the better land, God still provided for Abraham's sheep and prospered him. When Sarah could not have a baby it was the LORD (JEHOVAH-JIREH) that promised to multiply them as the stars in the heavens and then provided a baby for them in their old old age. And it was still the LORD our God (Jehovah-jireh) that provided a ram for Abraham to sacrifice instead of his only son. (I get goosebumps just thinking about his goodness).
Gideon called God JEHOVAH-SHALOM - "the Lord is peace". He was Gideon's peace before the battle... the peace before the storm. I sure did call out to God by the name JEHOVAH-SHALOM when Nate was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. And he provided a peace for us that passed all understanding. It guarded our hearts and sailed us through the chemo. So then we praise God the one who is JEHOVAH-ROPHE - "I am the LORD who heals you." (Exodus 15:26) Lucado says:
"God is the one who heals. He may use a branch of medicine and a branch of a hospital or a branch of a live oak tree, but he is the one who takes the poison out of the system. He is Jehovah-rophe."
And finally he talked about God by the name of JEHOVAH-NISSI, "the LORD is my banner". He described a battle scene: "in the heat of battle, soldiers feared getting separated from their army. For that reason a banner was carried into conflict, and if a fighter found himself alone, the raised flag would signal safety."
So I will lift my eyes up and look to Jehovah-nissi in my battle and trust that same God to be Jehovah-raah who will guide me and direct me in the way I should go. I will praise God as the one who provides the peace while I wait for deliverence and trust that it is He who will provide it. Not by my own strength but His.
God promised through his son Jesus, "those who seek me, find me". So here goes my journey to claim that promise for myself. I am looking for God.
- daughter of the King, Rebeca
Friday, December 3, 2010
Puerto Rico
Dear Blog,
I am on a flight to Puerto Rico. Getting away for a four-day long weekend - just me, Hubby and the baby. The three month old bundle of joy. Our bouncy toddler is spending the weekend with his grandpa. I feel like he is missing out and I miss him.
We’re on the plane and the guy behind Hubby has a pump. An insulin pump. I can hear it trying to get his attention. Beep beep beep. He’s either running out of insulin and that’s a “LOW RESERVOIR” alert, or he is has a sensor on and it wants him to “BG NOW”. I want to turn around and tell him his pump is calling him... or maybe introduce myself. I feel like I should greet him. I feel compelled to say something. "Hey, you have one of those? Me too!" He's in his forties, travelling with his wife and two teenage kids. I decide not to turn around. I just keep nudging Hubby and telling him "Guy with the pump has a low" then, "Guy with the pump is having a snack". He nods and turns back to his INflight magazine.
The snack cart comes around and I hear Pump Guy bolus for his pretzels. I stash my snack for the inevitable low that will hit me during our transfer in Atlanta. (When I do reach for my biscotti, I flip it on the back to find the nutritional information. I find an address, a telephone number and the message “Phone or write for nutritional information” in capital letters. Really, Delta Air Lines, really?! You want me to call with the cell phone I’m not allowed to use or write you a letter through snail mail to receive the amount of carbohydrates in this snack two weeks after I consumed it? Really? Genius.)
As we fly I think about LOST - the TV show. If we were to crash land into one of these deserted islands below and survive, it wouldn’t be good. I wouldn’t survive for long. Even if this plane was to somehow land safely on land or water - without insulin I would survive maybe one year tops... and that's only if I don't have a DKA attack. (Diabetic Ketoacidosis). And I would have to be on a drastically reduced calorie intake. So reduced that I would probably die of starvation. Hubby and I talk about it and he wonders what I would even be able to eat out there. I say Coconuts... but I'm not sure. That would be so terrifying.
We recently watched Disney's Swiss Family Robinson and although I understand the story to be very unbelievable, I resolve that I could be like Mrs. Robinson. Hubby and Josh would build me a beautiful tree house, (yes, my three month old is very capable) complete with stairs that work on pull strings. I would make curtains for our home out of the blankets aboard the plane... but then soon I'd be out of insulin... and then what? At least I’ve got curtains… And with the tropical climate, how would I keep the insulin I have from going bad? I finally give up thinking about it because it's much too frightening.
I've had dreams of war breaking out or the dreadful end of the world and the first thing I grab out of my house as we flee (in my dream, remember) is insulin... not photo albums, no jewelry or other things of value. To me INSULIN is gold - I understand my life depends on it.
For this four-day trip I picked up insulin in "pen-fills" not vials so that I can split it up in our luggage. I have two "pen-fills" in my purse, one in the diaper bag, and two in each of the suitcases. If I lose any one of these pieces I will have insulin in a separate bag.
I filled my pump the night before and replaced the battery in my pump. I have new strips (and back up strips in all the luggage) and I feel prepared. As long as the plane doesn’t crash – I am prepared.
I look out my window and see small islands below. “Small” in comparison to North America I guess. I can't wait for us to land. Come on, Puerto Rico! I am ready. I've got my insulin and I'm good to go. Bring on the sunshine; bring on the beach. I'm determined to enjoy my vacation and my life as any non-diabetic person would.
PS At departure, security scanned me for radioactive material. They wiped my pump and my hands with some sort of swab and then tested it to see if I was in contact with something other than insulin. I was cleared. No officer, don’t you know? I need all the insulin I can on board. What good would radioactive materials be to a diabetic? Seriously...
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Is this a cure?
Earlier this morning I opened my email inbox to find that my mom has sent me a link for a story on CBC's The National Sunday night. It was a CBC special titled "More diabetes patients may get islet transplants". It talked about The Edmonton Protocol, a procedure where islet cells are isolated from donor pancreases and then injected into the liver. It's done under local anesthetic and it takes only 10 minutes. Within weeks most people can stop taking insulin. The doctor that was leading this experimental treatment, Dr. James Shapiro, says that with their newest regiment "50% of patients are still insulin free at 5 years which is actually the same results for a pancreas transplant alone".
I watched the CBC video a couple times and grew more and more excited. It sounds like a sort of cure. A "cure" that is only 3000km (1900 miles) away from me in Edmonton, Alberta. The article did say that it was more aimed at "brittle" diabetics - I guess those are ones that have a hard time managing their diabetes with frequent hypo incidents. Hubby said he'd be up to driving down there tomorrow if we get a green light. The procedure is even covered by the Alberta government.
I would like some more information on islet transplants. If anyone out there in the Diabetes community could please give me some insight or point me in the right direction on the web. I understand there are some pills that are necessary to take so that your body doesn't reject the foreign cells. What are these and are they dangerous? Do they have side effects?
I am very excited. If there's a waiting list, I'd like to get on it. 50/50 odds are good. I'd take it.
Please have a read and watch the video and let me know what you think. I hope I'm not getting my hopes up for nothing.
I watched the CBC video a couple times and grew more and more excited. It sounds like a sort of cure. A "cure" that is only 3000km (1900 miles) away from me in Edmonton, Alberta. The article did say that it was more aimed at "brittle" diabetics - I guess those are ones that have a hard time managing their diabetes with frequent hypo incidents. Hubby said he'd be up to driving down there tomorrow if we get a green light. The procedure is even covered by the Alberta government.
I would like some more information on islet transplants. If anyone out there in the Diabetes community could please give me some insight or point me in the right direction on the web. I understand there are some pills that are necessary to take so that your body doesn't reject the foreign cells. What are these and are they dangerous? Do they have side effects?
I am very excited. If there's a waiting list, I'd like to get on it. 50/50 odds are good. I'd take it.
Please have a read and watch the video and let me know what you think. I hope I'm not getting my hopes up for nothing.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Is my 3-year-old diabetic?
Something alarming happened yesterday. Before eating our lunch we decided we should be proactive with out 3-year-old and test his blood sugar before we eat. I have been a Type 1 diabetic since I was 20-years-old and so my son has a heightened chance of having T1 D at some point in his life too. He didn't really know the test was coming so he didn't struggle against it at all. I held my breath and waited the 5 seconds for the display to show his reading... 7.5 - 7.5!? How can that be? We had cereal around 10:30 a.m. and it was about 1 p.m. Why would his reading be 7.5? Hubby and I were both concerned. We had our lunch and the whole time we are both lost in thought over what this could mean.
It started with me eyeing his lunch: half of a whole-wheat sandwich with a 1/2 a miniature cup of OJ. I started doing the math... the carb math. Sandwich: 15 g of carb; OJ: 10 g. That mean 25 g of carbs. So now what? I would reach over to his insulin pump and program that in? ... or would be be injections for a while until we would get our hands on a pump? Would he let me prick him with a needle? What about later when he would be going over to grandpa's house? How would they know what to do and would I ever trust other people to take care of his diabetes? What about sleeping over at grandpa's? Never again... I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I put him down for a nap and two hours later when he woke up I tried testing him again. I didn't even have the patience to change him out of his PJs. I needed to see the reading. This time when I asked him to test he refused to let me do it and I had to chase him throughout the house to test. I tried bribing him with a gummy, with Thomas, with promises of a Pooh Bear bandaid, with allowing him to watch "the robot part" from ToyStory 2... Nothing worked.
Finally, once he settled into the Thomas DVD I sneaked up on him and pricked his thumb. He didn't freak out or get upset. I applied the band-aid as promised (although he did not need it at all) and gave him the gummy. The test showed 4.6 Phew. But still why the 7.5? If he is not diabetic, is he border-line? Doe it work the same way in T1 as in T2?
I would love to know from some of the moms that have little ones with diabetes how did you get them to test or allow you to test them or be willing to insert the infusion set?
This little scare yesterday really brought some stuff in perspective for me... Hats of to all you moms who do it day in and day out. It's unbelievably overwhelming to think about, never mind going though it every day and night.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Thinking about the Future
Yesterday Hubby and I went for the visitation for a friend's mom's funeral. She passed away after a 6 year battle with cancer. That hit home for me. I can't help but put myself in their shoes since Hubby and my dad both went through cancer (Hodgkin's for Hubby and non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma for my dad) in the last two years. Both are now in remission and we are thankful to God for that.
But I still can see my family there... I can't help it. I have really felt myself falling in love more and more with Hubby as the years go on. God has blessed us more than we could ever deserve and losing him would be devastating. I fully believe he would be going to be with Jesus in heaven - in a perfect paradise with no pain, no tears, no cancer... but yet it would be a loss for me. I am only human.
On the drive home from the funeral home Hubby and I were talking about all of this. That led me to think about what life might be like for us when we are older... due to my diabetes. There may be complications... even if my control is good - over time I would imagine things will still go wonky. I hope not... I guess I've got to do more research on that. Anyone know?
I do have a wonderful elder lady at my church who is simply fabulous. She has had Type 1 diabetes since her teens and she is now in her sixties. She's been on insulin almost all her life and she is doing great. She is vibrant and feeling good. I hope to be like her when I turn 60.
I know that staying active has a huge impact on my health, so last week I started running again. It felt so good. I strapped on my "fanny pack" (for lack of a better word and because I have no idea what brand it is - I purchased it at the expo the day before the Detroit Free Press Marathon - it has no tag of any kind on it...) and headed out. It's a pretty neat one. It has two pockets, one small and one big, with two loops for gels, I guess. Well I clipped my pump in one of the loops, my iPhone and poker in the big pocket and my Aviva Nano tester in the little pocket. I turned on Monkey Business by the Black Eyed Peas on my iPhone and had a great run!
When I returned home I got ready to take a shower and tested. I was 3.4 but feeling great. I corrected my low and made a mental note to take some carbs next time before I leave.
Yesterday Hubby and I went out for a run together. It was fantastic! I loved running side by side with my love. It was so cool. I can't wait to go out again.
The baby is doing great and I love him so much. Being a mom of two is keeping me busy and active. I am enjoying every minute of it.
But I still can see my family there... I can't help it. I have really felt myself falling in love more and more with Hubby as the years go on. God has blessed us more than we could ever deserve and losing him would be devastating. I fully believe he would be going to be with Jesus in heaven - in a perfect paradise with no pain, no tears, no cancer... but yet it would be a loss for me. I am only human.
On the drive home from the funeral home Hubby and I were talking about all of this. That led me to think about what life might be like for us when we are older... due to my diabetes. There may be complications... even if my control is good - over time I would imagine things will still go wonky. I hope not... I guess I've got to do more research on that. Anyone know?
I do have a wonderful elder lady at my church who is simply fabulous. She has had Type 1 diabetes since her teens and she is now in her sixties. She's been on insulin almost all her life and she is doing great. She is vibrant and feeling good. I hope to be like her when I turn 60.
I know that staying active has a huge impact on my health, so last week I started running again. It felt so good. I strapped on my "fanny pack" (for lack of a better word and because I have no idea what brand it is - I purchased it at the expo the day before the Detroit Free Press Marathon - it has no tag of any kind on it...) and headed out. It's a pretty neat one. It has two pockets, one small and one big, with two loops for gels, I guess. Well I clipped my pump in one of the loops, my iPhone and poker in the big pocket and my Aviva Nano tester in the little pocket. I turned on Monkey Business by the Black Eyed Peas on my iPhone and had a great run!
When I returned home I got ready to take a shower and tested. I was 3.4 but feeling great. I corrected my low and made a mental note to take some carbs next time before I leave.
Yesterday Hubby and I went out for a run together. It was fantastic! I loved running side by side with my love. It was so cool. I can't wait to go out again.
The baby is doing great and I love him so much. Being a mom of two is keeping me busy and active. I am enjoying every minute of it.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Busy Mamma
Life of a mom is busy. Life of a mom of two is busier. But life of a mom with diabetes with two, is busiest!
I have had no time at all in the last three weeks. With two kids there is always someone to feed, someone to change, someone's snot to wipe, and some days mom is feeling drained. I am thankful beyond words to my mom, who has been here for half of those three weeks, my in-laws who have dropped off meals, picked up Noah for an afternoon or even overnight numerous times. Hubby has been more than wonderful! Changing the diaper, burping the little guy, bringing my tester, finding my tester... He's been great. And working on top of it all. He was able to stay at home with us the first week, which was great. Now I miss him when he's away all day.
The two little monkeys are keeping me busy. It's pretty hard to enforce TimeOut with the toddler when the infant is at my boob. :) But you gotta do what you gotta do - consistency is key in disciple.
My sugars have been kindda all over the place. I have a sensor on again... after hitting a 23 one day simply because I did not test for hours upon hours. Somewhere in there I must have had a meal or a large snack and forgot to take any insulin for it. Well I say enough is enough. I plopped another sensor on and now I hear the familiar beep beep BEEP letting me know my sugar is going up. "Oh yeah, I didn't bolus."
After being so used to having a sensor, going without throws me for a loop. So anyways, I wanna say the 23 was a one time thing but it wasn't. Even with the sensor on, if the METER BG NOW prompts me to test and I don't (and then it does it again every hour for the next 4 and I still don't) a 17 is not a surprise. I am not used to testing before every meal - the sensor usually tells me where I'm at... and if I forget to bolus (as if I haven't been diabetic for over 6 years and needed insulin AT EVERY MEAL!!!!) then the sensor will beep at me. Anyways, all that to say I am not trying hard enough. It's sad to say but it's the truth. In fact, let me check *looks down at pump* right now I have a METER BG prompt (and it's been there for almost two hours). Ugh! *goes and retrieves tester* 11.7 see? That's bad. I'm a bad diabetic. Alright, lets do this *updates sensor* *bolus wizard to correct high* What is going on? It doesn't want to give me anything to correct the high. It says I have enough insulin on board... but that is only true if I bolused correctly... Sometimes I override the wizard and give myself a guestimate amount of insulin. Sometimes (most of the time) I was wrong in bolusing. But sometimes after doing an override I end up with a low. Let's think here... Yesterday I had a high around lunch time and the wizard did the math calculation for the correction and it was right. I was down to 4.6 in about 2 or 3 hours. And now? Do I trust it and also trust that I bolused for the correct amount of carbs? Or since I doubt my bolusing I also doubt it? So much thinking.... I have baby brain right now and feel as if I won't make the right decision...*do nothing* Hopefully it will correct itself. I'll see in about an hour or so... if it's not going down, I'll do the wizard again.
Yesterday I woke up with a low and that threw the whole day outta whack. After overcorrecting with way too many carbs - I wanted to eat everything in sight - , I felt like I had a huge high but my sugar reading was 7.8 . Why is that? If I bolused correctly and if my BG is saying I am good, why do I feel so rotten?
As I was holding Josh, while Noah was playing on the carpet in front of us, I had the same sensation as if I was driving and suddenly got really drowsy. I felt as if I might just fall asleep right there on the armchair in the living room, leaving my infant baby and toddler to fend for themselves. It was scary. I made myself stand up and walk over to the phone to call my father-in-law. I asked him to come over and watch the boys while I napped. He was very gracious and came over promptly. I passed off Josh and kissed Noah on the head. Then I dragged my feet to the bedroom and passed out immediately. No tossing, no turning; just sleep.
My father-in-law brought Josh in to nurse two hours later and told me he'd be taking Noah back to his place to give me some more time to sleep. I said thank you and me and Josh fell asleep together on my bed. I woke up another 2 hours later not feeling any better. Hubby was just walking in the door from work and took Josh to change him before brining him back to me to nurse him. I think I fell asleep for a bit again... that was kindda scary. I don't ever nap for more than 2 hours, 3 max! I had slept 5 hours and still felt lousy. Hubby brought my tester and asked me to test (my sensor had not been updated, of course). *test* 5.1 - so it wasn't that. Later on in the evening I got some muscle cramps and was feeling quite lousy still. Finally by 10 or 11 I felt normal again. I'm not sure what was up with all of that. But at least it was a one day thing.
Today is much better. I am tidying up and doing what feels like laundry for a small army. A friend from work is stopping by to meet Josh later and I am quite excited to see her.
Life is busy for sure. But life is also great. I have two wonderful boys, a loving husband, a gracious family and more blessings than I deserve. God is good!
I have had no time at all in the last three weeks. With two kids there is always someone to feed, someone to change, someone's snot to wipe, and some days mom is feeling drained. I am thankful beyond words to my mom, who has been here for half of those three weeks, my in-laws who have dropped off meals, picked up Noah for an afternoon or even overnight numerous times. Hubby has been more than wonderful! Changing the diaper, burping the little guy, bringing my tester, finding my tester... He's been great. And working on top of it all. He was able to stay at home with us the first week, which was great. Now I miss him when he's away all day. The two little monkeys are keeping me busy. It's pretty hard to enforce TimeOut with the toddler when the infant is at my boob. :) But you gotta do what you gotta do - consistency is key in disciple.
My sugars have been kindda all over the place. I have a sensor on again... after hitting a 23 one day simply because I did not test for hours upon hours. Somewhere in there I must have had a meal or a large snack and forgot to take any insulin for it. Well I say enough is enough. I plopped another sensor on and now I hear the familiar beep beep BEEP letting me know my sugar is going up. "Oh yeah, I didn't bolus."
After being so used to having a sensor, going without throws me for a loop. So anyways, I wanna say the 23 was a one time thing but it wasn't. Even with the sensor on, if the METER BG NOW prompts me to test and I don't (and then it does it again every hour for the next 4 and I still don't) a 17 is not a surprise. I am not used to testing before every meal - the sensor usually tells me where I'm at... and if I forget to bolus (as if I haven't been diabetic for over 6 years and needed insulin AT EVERY MEAL!!!!) then the sensor will beep at me. Anyways, all that to say I am not trying hard enough. It's sad to say but it's the truth. In fact, let me check *looks down at pump* right now I have a METER BG prompt (and it's been there for almost two hours). Ugh! *goes and retrieves tester* 11.7 see? That's bad. I'm a bad diabetic. Alright, lets do this *updates sensor* *bolus wizard to correct high* What is going on? It doesn't want to give me anything to correct the high. It says I have enough insulin on board... but that is only true if I bolused correctly... Sometimes I override the wizard and give myself a guestimate amount of insulin. Sometimes (most of the time) I was wrong in bolusing. But sometimes after doing an override I end up with a low. Let's think here... Yesterday I had a high around lunch time and the wizard did the math calculation for the correction and it was right. I was down to 4.6 in about 2 or 3 hours. And now? Do I trust it and also trust that I bolused for the correct amount of carbs? Or since I doubt my bolusing I also doubt it? So much thinking.... I have baby brain right now and feel as if I won't make the right decision...*do nothing* Hopefully it will correct itself. I'll see in about an hour or so... if it's not going down, I'll do the wizard again.
Yesterday I woke up with a low and that threw the whole day outta whack. After overcorrecting with way too many carbs - I wanted to eat everything in sight - , I felt like I had a huge high but my sugar reading was 7.8 . Why is that? If I bolused correctly and if my BG is saying I am good, why do I feel so rotten?
As I was holding Josh, while Noah was playing on the carpet in front of us, I had the same sensation as if I was driving and suddenly got really drowsy. I felt as if I might just fall asleep right there on the armchair in the living room, leaving my infant baby and toddler to fend for themselves. It was scary. I made myself stand up and walk over to the phone to call my father-in-law. I asked him to come over and watch the boys while I napped. He was very gracious and came over promptly. I passed off Josh and kissed Noah on the head. Then I dragged my feet to the bedroom and passed out immediately. No tossing, no turning; just sleep.
My father-in-law brought Josh in to nurse two hours later and told me he'd be taking Noah back to his place to give me some more time to sleep. I said thank you and me and Josh fell asleep together on my bed. I woke up another 2 hours later not feeling any better. Hubby was just walking in the door from work and took Josh to change him before brining him back to me to nurse him. I think I fell asleep for a bit again... that was kindda scary. I don't ever nap for more than 2 hours, 3 max! I had slept 5 hours and still felt lousy. Hubby brought my tester and asked me to test (my sensor had not been updated, of course). *test* 5.1 - so it wasn't that. Later on in the evening I got some muscle cramps and was feeling quite lousy still. Finally by 10 or 11 I felt normal again. I'm not sure what was up with all of that. But at least it was a one day thing.
Today is much better. I am tidying up and doing what feels like laundry for a small army. A friend from work is stopping by to meet Josh later and I am quite excited to see her.
Life is busy for sure. But life is also great. I have two wonderful boys, a loving husband, a gracious family and more blessings than I deserve. God is good!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Post Partum
I've been reading up on lower blood sugars in babies of diabetics. It seems to be that the poor little guy struggling to produce insulin during the pregnancy on behalf of the mom when sugars are high. Once the baby is born his little body may continue to over-produce insulin, thus there is a huge concern with babies going hypo during the first day of their life.
Well when Josh was born his blood sugar reading was 2.2 (36.9) which they said is perfectly acceptable at birth but that it needs to be above 2.6 three hours later. So we got Josh latched on good and he started drinking little portions of colostrum. I made sure we had a good latch, that he wasn't falling asleep (we had him down to a diaper right up against me - it was so sweet) and that I could hear little swallows. The nurse came in and told us that she will be retesting him at the three hour mark and that if his sugar isn't up that she would like to supplement with formula. I chose to nurse my boys and not to include formula. So I told her I would like to try to nurse him further if at that time the sugar is low. She took a few steps closer to me and in a semi-threatening tone told me that they would admit him if we don't get his sugars up stat. I told her to hold her horses and lets get there and see what his BG is. I was confident that colostrum was more than adequate to provide the baby what he needed after birth. My God knew what he was doing when he designed us.
Well when they came back to test him I was a bit nervous. They poked and prodded him for a good ten minutes (as if it's so hard to take a sugar reading). Josh was screaming. I was nearly crying. I offered to do it myself since they couldn't seem to squeeze a big enough drop from his tiny little heel. But they wouldn't - it was necessary to be done with the hospital tester. Finally, after three failed attempts, they got it. The reading came back at 5.6 PRAISE GOD.
By now I was a little annoyed with my nurse. I did not appreciate that she was pushing formula on us when I had laid it out on the birth plan that I will be nursing my son exclusively. And on top of that to threaten us and then to botch up the second BG test to the point that I was nearly crying. Seriously. I knew we needed to stay the minium amount of time in the hospital (24 hrs after the birth) then get outta there.
For the rest of the night, sure enough, they (the nurses, the cleaning lady, the Health Card lady, a pediatrician, the lab nurse - everyone that had a post in the hospital) came in our room. After a very intense labour, I got absolutely no sleep. They had to check Josh's sugars every three hours (it was pretty much the same debacle almost every time) and they had to check my blood presurre and my temperature and check Josh and check me and Josh and me. Please just let me sleep! I get they were just doing their job but it was so rigorous and so much of it was unnecessary. I couldn't wait to take Josh home so people would stop poking and prodding us.
His sugar reading stayed around 5 or 4 for the rest of the night. So that was great.
My sugars on the other hand were totally outta whack. The endo had asked me to remove my pump right after delivery. Well I simply turned off the basals and kept the pump on so that my sensor would continue to work. I saw the stable sugars that I had during labour completely go through the roof after Josh was born. About two hours after delivery, I was 14. Why? It didn't make sense. Was it the stress? I wasn't sure. I set my basels to run as they were pre-pregnancy, took a correction bolus and waited.
During labour my sugars were great. Both Hubby and the doula kept asking me to check my pump for the sugar reading and occasionally test to make sure the calibration was correct. A few times, as I saw the sugars dip below 5 I would take a swig of Ginger Ale. During the part that we were in the shower (I was sitting on the yoga ball and I was using the hand-held shower head to bring heat to my lower abdomen - where the pain was) I removed my pump and placed it on the counter - again for the CGM to keep doing it's thing. I needed those readings. Hubby at one point in between contractions told me that my sugar was 3.7 so I popped two DEX glucose tablets and jumped right into another contraction.
So although they were kindda wonky the first day or two my sugars have now completely stabilized. My milk is in and that really helps. I guess it's hard work for my body to be producing all this milk (and boy is there a lot! - I already have 6 feedings frozen in the freezer - a few times already I just HAD TO pump after Josh finished feeding).
I did want to clarify one thing - I did not chose to go natural to be a martyr or a hero or because I think birth "needs to be experienced". When I was pregnant with Noah I did lots of research on the upcoming birth. I found a lot of evidence that the epidural is not as safe as we think. Sure, a lot of women take it and everything turns out fine. It wasn't the very small chance that I may be paralyzed from the waist down that freaked me out. But rather the alarming rate of C section that happens if epidural is taken. Or the fact that once you are on the epidural you are on the bed, with a catheter in your bladder, with an IV hooked up to your arm, and you are almost not even able to feel when your body needs you to push. The labour slows down or doesn't progress at the same rate anymore. Then the baby might not progress as needed so there is a need for forceps or vacuum. There is so much medical interversion that happens that it made me wonder about natural delivery. Which is funny. Me? Natural? Come on. I remember during my teen years I used to joke that I'd take the drugs as soon as I was pregnant. There is no way that you would catch me dead going through that pain. Why would you? The drugs are there - they're totally safe, right?
So anyways, I just knew that being high risk was bad enough. If I could limit the amount of medical intervention that I allowed then I could keep some control. That is why I was very clear with the doctors on what my wishes were. My doula and I talked a lot about my choices and I read up a lot on it. I was very confident that it would be doable. Millions of women have been doing it natural for thousands of years. Besides labour and delivery is designed to be durable by God. Why else would we get breaks between contractions? Why else would the stronger contractions that do the most work last the shortest? Why else does the baby just know what to do too? You are both working together to get through it. His head has 5 or 6 plates that shift around as to be able to squeeze though the pelvis as it makes it's way down the birth canal. How amazing. And even the pushing part. It's crazy how that part - even though the hardest perhaps - has some sort of accomplishment attached to it. You are no longer just "getting through" the contractions but you are now working with them to cross the finish line.
Don't get me wrong - I am not one to say that birth is beautiful because I think it's messy and scary and not pleasant at all. I just wanted to get through it as simply as possible.
I have a small confession to make. While I was labouring with Noah I did break down and asked for the epidural. I was later told that almost all women who choose to go natural, do. I remember telling my doula that I can't do it anymore. That I am too scared of the next contraction to be able to cope. She reminded me of the reasons why I chose to do it natural but I wasn't listening. I asked for the anesthesiologist. So they started an IV in my arm and started rushing the contents of an entire bag of IV into my arm. It was such an awful feeling. It was cold. As the anesthesiologist made his way through the hospital, I asked my doula if I'm making the right call. She told me it was up to me, but honestly "No, you are not making the right call." And then she reminded me again (the exact thing I asked her to do if I ever get to that desperate point) the reason why I went this way. As the anesthesiologist walked into the room I chickened out and told him never mind. He was not impressed and neither were the nurses. Oh well. I got back on track and focused hard. Within the next hour Noah was born and I had done it.
This time around I didn't break down and beg for the drugs. When the feeling came over me that this is too tough to handle I remembered that with Noah I held him within the next hour. So I knew to stay strong and carry on and God would supply the strength that I needed.
Looking back now, having gone through two natural deliveries, I'll do it the same with the next baby (if God blesses us with another). It has all worked out wonderfully.
Friday, September 10, 2010
The Birth Story
I am more than pleased to announce the birth of our second son, Joshua Lucas. He was born Saturday, September 4th at 10:02pm weighing (get this!) 10 lbs, 2 oz.
It all started the day before. We were working hard to wrap up The Basement Project. We had a carpet installer at the house, and my mother and I were working hard at "flipping" the boys' rooms. The toddler's bed needed to be converted to a crib again. It needed to be washed and the mattress raised and the bedding found and the railing reinstalled.
Then there was the bassinet and a new toddler bed for Noah. We set up a cool blue car bed for him and rearranged his bedroom. It was all happening in a frenzi. I invited some friends over to help us and Hubby and his dad were still touching up the paint in the foyer. I'm sure all that work did something for my uterus.
The next morning, Saturday, Hubby and I thought we'd "get busy" since it worked before. Maybe if I was ready this time it might actually put me in labour. The house was mostly ready so why not? Well within about 2 hours, while we were enjoying our coffees with mom and Noah in the newly plush carpeted basement, the contractions started. At first I didn't really time them since I wasn't sure they were close together enough. Then finally when I started catching my breath as they came, I pulled out my iPhone. Sure enough they were about 3 or 4 minutes apart. I gave Hubby the green light - it was time to go.
We piled our stuff in the minivan and started driving to the hospital. As we got closer to the hospital my contractions spaced out a tad and I chickened out a bit. I suggested we circle around the hospital - maybe hit a Tim Horton's drive-thru. So although they were somewhat consistent, the one or two that was 5 or 6 minutes apart threw the whole thing out of whack. We grabbed ice caps and drove home.
I went to lay down and soon Hubby and Noah joined me. We all piled into the King size bed and took a nap. It was sweet. I remember waking up once or twice during contractions but I was able to go back to sleep.
I woke up an hour and a half later with some more contractions. I walked out of the bedroom quietly. My mom was watching the US Open so I joined her. I pulled out the iPhone again and started timing. This time they were consistently 2:30 to 3:00. I went in the bedroom and woke Hubby up. "This is not a drill."
We arrived at the hospital around 5:30pm and right when I walked in security asked if needed a wheelchair. I wasn't panting, I didn't look disheveled but yet they knew I was in labour. I wondered if they are trained to notice these things... or did it just come with experience.
We headed up to maternal triage. They checked me and much to my surprise I was 3-4 cm and 50% effaced. They said I was in labour and a room was being set up for me. I called the doula and she said she'd arrive in 10-15 min. I couldn't believe it - this was it. I was about to get on a "crazy train"and I knew there were no stops until we reached our destination.
Once our doula arrived, Hubby headed down to repark the car and bring up our stuff. I explained my contractions and their frequency to the doula - I had pain that was similar to menstrual cramps but stronger and they were pretty frequent.
We started focusing. The contractions kept coming. One after another, they did not ease up - they only got stronger. Soon it was harder and harder to concentrate on anything else but getting through the current contraction.
The contractions were now starting to be doubled-up - as one was "easing up" the next would be starting. Those were hard since I was not getting any breaks in between. My doula suggested that I try labouring in the shower. I insisted on wearing my maternity bathing suit. I was not comfortable being "exposed" and labouring naked as some women do. I used the yoga ball in the shower and during every contraction Hubby compressed my hips together and that helps so much. The doula kept me focused and reminded me to breathe for the baby during every contraction. As the urge to push came near we quickly moved from the shower to back to the room. It was all happening very fast. I chose to refuse the epidural earlier in the pregnancy and so I was dealing with the pain solely through getting through each and every contraction one at a time.
As I entered into the transitioning stage, the hardest part, all I could do was ask God to give me the strength that He has promised in the Bible to those who ask. I saw the other side of each contraction and soon, only 4 hours after I was admitted, my son, Joshua Lucas was born. He was wonderful. I burst into tears when they placed him on my chest.
What a blessing! Another boy. Another healthy baby boy. Another successful delivery. Another reason to praise God and thank Him for getting us through this. There is a verse in the Bible that says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." This has been so important in my life. As a diabetic I was always afraid that I would be limited to the things that I could do. Last year this is the verse that was on my shirt as I ran the Detroit Free Press 1/2 Marathon - something I figured that a diabetic could never do. Or that this "sick" body could carry a child (could carry two children) to full term, and that my sugars have not harmed them. I am blown away by the grace that has been extended to me.
Now as Josh is five days old, I am loving him and nursing and enjoying being a mom of two beautiful boys.
 |
| Joshua Lucas, 12 hours old |
It all started the day before. We were working hard to wrap up The Basement Project. We had a carpet installer at the house, and my mother and I were working hard at "flipping" the boys' rooms. The toddler's bed needed to be converted to a crib again. It needed to be washed and the mattress raised and the bedding found and the railing reinstalled.
 |
| mom and I, setting up the bassinet the day before |
The next morning, Saturday, Hubby and I thought we'd "get busy" since it worked before. Maybe if I was ready this time it might actually put me in labour. The house was mostly ready so why not? Well within about 2 hours, while we were enjoying our coffees with mom and Noah in the newly plush carpeted basement, the contractions started. At first I didn't really time them since I wasn't sure they were close together enough. Then finally when I started catching my breath as they came, I pulled out my iPhone. Sure enough they were about 3 or 4 minutes apart. I gave Hubby the green light - it was time to go.
We piled our stuff in the minivan and started driving to the hospital. As we got closer to the hospital my contractions spaced out a tad and I chickened out a bit. I suggested we circle around the hospital - maybe hit a Tim Horton's drive-thru. So although they were somewhat consistent, the one or two that was 5 or 6 minutes apart threw the whole thing out of whack. We grabbed ice caps and drove home.
I went to lay down and soon Hubby and Noah joined me. We all piled into the King size bed and took a nap. It was sweet. I remember waking up once or twice during contractions but I was able to go back to sleep.
 |
| timing my contractions |
We arrived at the hospital around 5:30pm and right when I walked in security asked if needed a wheelchair. I wasn't panting, I didn't look disheveled but yet they knew I was in labour. I wondered if they are trained to notice these things... or did it just come with experience.
We headed up to maternal triage. They checked me and much to my surprise I was 3-4 cm and 50% effaced. They said I was in labour and a room was being set up for me. I called the doula and she said she'd arrive in 10-15 min. I couldn't believe it - this was it. I was about to get on a "crazy train"and I knew there were no stops until we reached our destination.
 |
| Our doula :) |
The nurses were great. They must have all read my birth plan because soon the yoga bag and a bean bag made it's way in our room. Then they all pretty much left us alone. Every half hour they had to come in to listen to the baby. They used a wireless monitor to listen to Nr. 2. I thought they would use a portable one one wheels but no. It was a small and wireless - the size of your fist. That was so great. I was given the freedom that I needed to cope with labour.
We started focusing. The contractions kept coming. One after another, they did not ease up - they only got stronger. Soon it was harder and harder to concentrate on anything else but getting through the current contraction.
The contractions were now starting to be doubled-up - as one was "easing up" the next would be starting. Those were hard since I was not getting any breaks in between. My doula suggested that I try labouring in the shower. I insisted on wearing my maternity bathing suit. I was not comfortable being "exposed" and labouring naked as some women do. I used the yoga ball in the shower and during every contraction Hubby compressed my hips together and that helps so much. The doula kept me focused and reminded me to breathe for the baby during every contraction. As the urge to push came near we quickly moved from the shower to back to the room. It was all happening very fast. I chose to refuse the epidural earlier in the pregnancy and so I was dealing with the pain solely through getting through each and every contraction one at a time.
As I entered into the transitioning stage, the hardest part, all I could do was ask God to give me the strength that He has promised in the Bible to those who ask. I saw the other side of each contraction and soon, only 4 hours after I was admitted, my son, Joshua Lucas was born. He was wonderful. I burst into tears when they placed him on my chest.
What a blessing! Another boy. Another healthy baby boy. Another successful delivery. Another reason to praise God and thank Him for getting us through this. There is a verse in the Bible that says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." This has been so important in my life. As a diabetic I was always afraid that I would be limited to the things that I could do. Last year this is the verse that was on my shirt as I ran the Detroit Free Press 1/2 Marathon - something I figured that a diabetic could never do. Or that this "sick" body could carry a child (could carry two children) to full term, and that my sugars have not harmed them. I am blown away by the grace that has been extended to me.
 |
| Josh, 5 days old |
Monday, August 30, 2010
5.3 A1C
Today at the endo appointment my A1C came up as 5.3!! I cannot tell you how excited I am to share that with everyone - with people that GET IT! Sure Hubby is very excited too but other than that who else would understand the "hugeness" of this!
This will ensure that No. 2 is safe, especially during this last leg of the pregnancy when he could be packing on the chub if my sugars are high. Also this reduces the chance that No. 2 will have low blood sugars when he is born. So that is great!
This week has been very productive. The nursery is done. The furniture is moved in. Hubby and our pastor's family and father-in-law are all down stairs mudding and sanding the basement. We will be painting tomorrow and maybe carpeting by the end of the week. So excited.
My parents are arriving back in the country tomorrow at noon and they will be in our house by evening. I can't wait to see them!
I just wanted to quickly share my small victory. My OB scheduled an induction for Sept 8th if I don't go into labour on my own by then. So that may just be No. 2's birth day.
This will ensure that No. 2 is safe, especially during this last leg of the pregnancy when he could be packing on the chub if my sugars are high. Also this reduces the chance that No. 2 will have low blood sugars when he is born. So that is great!
This week has been very productive. The nursery is done. The furniture is moved in. Hubby and our pastor's family and father-in-law are all down stairs mudding and sanding the basement. We will be painting tomorrow and maybe carpeting by the end of the week. So excited.
I just wanted to quickly share my small victory. My OB scheduled an induction for Sept 8th if I don't go into labour on my own by then. So that may just be No. 2's birth day.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The Drill
So, we had an interesting Tuesday. Hubby and I took a nap around 2pm and we got a little busy... well, word to the wise: don't get busy if you're not ready. Sure enough, contractions started strong and every 3 to 4 minutes by 5pm. I pulled out my iPhone and started timing them... they weren't textbook, but if they are that close together it's best to get check out, right?
So we canceled our plans for the evening (we were having a small group Bible study - at our house too!) and started zipping up my hospital bag. Our friends (whom we had to call to cancel the small group) were super excited for us and said they'd be praying for us and to call them with updates... this got me really excited too! I called my doula and gave her the scoop. She said she'd meet up at the hospital in about 45 minutes. Here in Canada we don't have to call the OB or anything, we just head in.
Hubby gathered up the digital camera and the camcorder - neither of which were charged so we also grabbed chargers... I grabbed the diaper bag (the only bag that fully WAS ready) and shoved some toiletries in a Ziploc and in my purse. We headed out the door excited but not sure if this was "it" or what...
Hubby kept saying, "If this isn't "it", at least it's a great drill for the real thing - we know, we are not prepared yet."
We drove to the hospital and I must admit I was nervous. The contractions kept coming pretty steady but not perfectly consistent (3:15, 4:10, 2:47, 3:23, 5:30). I was scared that this wasn't "it" and that they'd sent me home and I'd look stupid. I'm not sure why that was my primary concern. Hubby was super supportive and kept telling me that I would not look stupid even if this isn't "it".
At the hospital, we went up to Maternal Triage and Hubby held my hand the whole way. I was waddling back and forth and back and forth, all the way. The first nurse I saw greeted me with, "Oh, no. Not you too. We have no beds... Grab a seat in the waiting room. If no one comes to get you in 10-15 min come back and see us."
Nice. So I sat down and my doula showed up a few minutes later. Then I realized I haven't had supper yet. I quickly sent Hubby out for some drive-thru - if this was the real thing I wouldn't be eating for some time... better stock up now while I am "benched".
So we chowed on some Tim Hortons sandwiches and I downed an orange juice. This diabetic needs her carbs if they won't be giving any for a while. My sugars were at 5.6 and that was GREAT!
I mostly paced the waiting room experiencing contractions just the same. They finally called me in about 20 min later and they hooked me up to the machine to check my contractions. They were coming on every 4 minutes or so and lasting about a minute. The nurse I had now was SUPER nice. She was sweet and kind and exclaimed, "That NST strip is so perfect you could teach a class on it." and "Holy Toledo, those contractions are lasting quite a while, you alright sweetheart?" I liked her.
She then checked me and I was only 1 cm dilated and my cervix was still "thick". She said I could walk the halls for an hour or so and then she can recheck me or I could go home and try to sleep (it was almost 9pm by then) and if contractions come on stronger during the night to head back to the hospital. "I'll be here all night," she said with a wink.
So this is the part where I was supposed to feel stupid - but I didn't. My doula was not upset she came out to meet us. She reassured me and said, "That's what I'm here for." Hubby agreed that it would be best to head home.
And so we did. I took a shower and relaxed with a movie for a bit. Then went to bed around midnight. Every time I woke up in the night, to pee or turn over, I was having a contraction. So they must have carried on through-out the night.
I woke up in the morning and I was tired. I lasted about an hour or two and then I needed a nap.
Hopefully I won't have many more of those episodes... It's not fun. You think "this is is!" but it isn't. It's a real bummer.
Hubby is glad we had the drill. "At least now we know what to expect and we know what we have to have ready."
Our cameras are all charging, and my hospital bag is re-packed and in the foyer ready to go.
The nursery is being painted today and I think tomorrow we can move in the furniture. :) So excited about it. It really brings this preggo lots of relief to know that No. 2 will have a nursery where I can nurse him in privacy and change his little bum.
Come on No.2! You can do it!
So we canceled our plans for the evening (we were having a small group Bible study - at our house too!) and started zipping up my hospital bag. Our friends (whom we had to call to cancel the small group) were super excited for us and said they'd be praying for us and to call them with updates... this got me really excited too! I called my doula and gave her the scoop. She said she'd meet up at the hospital in about 45 minutes. Here in Canada we don't have to call the OB or anything, we just head in.Hubby gathered up the digital camera and the camcorder - neither of which were charged so we also grabbed chargers... I grabbed the diaper bag (the only bag that fully WAS ready) and shoved some toiletries in a Ziploc and in my purse. We headed out the door excited but not sure if this was "it" or what...
Hubby kept saying, "If this isn't "it", at least it's a great drill for the real thing - we know, we are not prepared yet."
We drove to the hospital and I must admit I was nervous. The contractions kept coming pretty steady but not perfectly consistent (3:15, 4:10, 2:47, 3:23, 5:30). I was scared that this wasn't "it" and that they'd sent me home and I'd look stupid. I'm not sure why that was my primary concern. Hubby was super supportive and kept telling me that I would not look stupid even if this isn't "it".
At the hospital, we went up to Maternal Triage and Hubby held my hand the whole way. I was waddling back and forth and back and forth, all the way. The first nurse I saw greeted me with, "Oh, no. Not you too. We have no beds... Grab a seat in the waiting room. If no one comes to get you in 10-15 min come back and see us."
Nice. So I sat down and my doula showed up a few minutes later. Then I realized I haven't had supper yet. I quickly sent Hubby out for some drive-thru - if this was the real thing I wouldn't be eating for some time... better stock up now while I am "benched".
So we chowed on some Tim Hortons sandwiches and I downed an orange juice. This diabetic needs her carbs if they won't be giving any for a while. My sugars were at 5.6 and that was GREAT!
I mostly paced the waiting room experiencing contractions just the same. They finally called me in about 20 min later and they hooked me up to the machine to check my contractions. They were coming on every 4 minutes or so and lasting about a minute. The nurse I had now was SUPER nice. She was sweet and kind and exclaimed, "That NST strip is so perfect you could teach a class on it." and "Holy Toledo, those contractions are lasting quite a while, you alright sweetheart?" I liked her.
She then checked me and I was only 1 cm dilated and my cervix was still "thick". She said I could walk the halls for an hour or so and then she can recheck me or I could go home and try to sleep (it was almost 9pm by then) and if contractions come on stronger during the night to head back to the hospital. "I'll be here all night," she said with a wink.
So this is the part where I was supposed to feel stupid - but I didn't. My doula was not upset she came out to meet us. She reassured me and said, "That's what I'm here for." Hubby agreed that it would be best to head home.
And so we did. I took a shower and relaxed with a movie for a bit. Then went to bed around midnight. Every time I woke up in the night, to pee or turn over, I was having a contraction. So they must have carried on through-out the night.
I woke up in the morning and I was tired. I lasted about an hour or two and then I needed a nap.
Hopefully I won't have many more of those episodes... It's not fun. You think "this is is!" but it isn't. It's a real bummer.
Hubby is glad we had the drill. "At least now we know what to expect and we know what we have to have ready."
Our cameras are all charging, and my hospital bag is re-packed and in the foyer ready to go.
The nursery is being painted today and I think tomorrow we can move in the furniture. :) So excited about it. It really brings this preggo lots of relief to know that No. 2 will have a nursery where I can nurse him in privacy and change his little bum.
Come on No.2! You can do it!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Fifteen Days, Really?!
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| one of my fave. shirts :) |
We are working away. The Basement Project is surprisingly coming along great. Saturday was a whole day affair. We worked and worked and worked. Even I was down there with a drywall gun screwing in drywall. No heavy lifting at all - the boys would put up the sheet and they'd hold it while I screwed in a few screws then they'd leave me to it. It was great. I really felt like I helped. I looked pretty funny - 9 months pregnant using power tools - but that's nesting my friends.
I am looking forward to my parents returning from Europe in one week. I can't wait.
I pulled out all the baby clothes and cleaned out this massive armoir that will be in the nursery. I folded all the baby clothes and put up all the sleepers on hangers. I feel somewhat prepared for No. 2. I still hope he gives us these last two weeks. I really think we can pull it together.
I also packed the diaper bag for the hospital and my bag is partly ready - with the last minute items to be "chucked in" on our way out the door. All we have to do now is throw on a coat of paint in Hubby's office and the upstairs room will be cleared to make way for the crib and the change table and the armoir and the glidder... so excited to hold this little guy.
AND we have a name. It's great. First and middle name. We are content. Baby can come now. Well maybe in two weeks he can come. Besides, my endo is on vacation in Africa somewhere and my OB is on vacation in Florida. Really bad week to come. Monday. No. 2 is allowed to come after Monday. Both docs are back in the country and my parents too.
Sugars have been good. Only when I don't behave and have cereal or chinese food do they go wonky... but even then I can usually get it in range within an hour or so.
Shoot I just remembered I missed an appointment this morning. Pregnancy brain... not gonna miss that.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Rebeca's Birth Plan
Type 1 Diabetic
I am on an insulin pump with Constant Glucose Monitoring
- I have great control of my diabetes with A1Cs at 5.9%
- my pump and glucose sensors will remain on during the labour and I would like to stay hydrated and on top of my diabetes on my own as opposed to IV
Friends and Family
We plan on having these people present during the labour and delivery:
- The Hubby
- The doula
Prefer a natural birth.
Please do not offer the epidural as we would prefer to cope with the pain by walking, using the shower, the tub, a birthing ball etc. before pain medication.
- We would like to utilize the tub for as long as possible and even multiple times through out labour (if available)
Mobility
We would like any required fetal monitoring to be done while standing, as dealing with a contraction while lying down is very difficult (as experienced during labour with our first son).
Hospital Personnel
We would prefer that all unnecessary staff be turned away from “watching” the delivery. Also, we ask that no student/resident teaching be done during the labour/delivery.
Episiotomy
We would prefer not to have an episiotomy unless determined to be medically necessary.
Umbilical Cord
Hubby would like to assist in cutting our baby’s umbilical cord.
Breast Feeding
I would like to nurse the baby right after birth.
C-section
If a C-section becomes necessary, I would like to have my husband present. In this situation also, I would like to nurse my baby right away.
Baby’s BG levels after Birth
If the baby will have low blood glucose, I would like to nurse the baby to elevate his blood sugars.
We thank you for taking the time to help us achieve a natural birth for our son.
So there it is. My birth plan. I'm sure it won't all go according to this but these are my wishes and I hope they will be somewhat honoured. It's so hard to not come across as demanding or "I know more than all you trained and experienced doctors and nurses". I used a lot of "we would like"/"we prefer". I hope they won't roll their eyes at these and talk behind my back at the nurses' station while I'm in labour. LOL, typical me. Even during labour I'm concerned if people like me. Wow... I'm a hard-core people pleaser I guess.
P.S. My bag is packed and I am ready... the house isn't but it seems baby won't wait much longer. Just a hunch I have. I hope I'm wrong.
PPS Today we purchased the rest of the drywall necessary for The Basement Project, as well as all the doors and the paint. We even looked at couches for the new family room and toddler beds for Noah - since his current toddler bed will be once again transformed into a crib. We didn't find everything we needed, furniture-wise... so we'll have to go on another shopping trip soon. Today we hit Lowes, IKEA and CostCo. It just about put me in labour.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
So we almost had a baby
Last night was wild. I was up until about 4 am with what felt like Braxton Hicks contractions - but they were consistently 6 min apart. I wasn't sure if I should head over to the hospital or what. I didn't want to at all because I feel so unprepared. I don't just feel unprepared, I am unprepared. I don't have a bag packed - no outfit picked out for No. 2 and to be honest I haven't even had "the talk" with my OB about when to go in. I was searching Google for answers at 2 or 3 a.m. reading blogs and Yahoo! Answers.
Then finally they started spacing out to 8 min apart then 10... so I went to sleep. But it was wild. We were almost sure it was time. Which is crazy.
It all started with me getting ready for a wedding that we have today. I was doing my nails during Devil Wears Prada, when half-way through the movie I noticed the contractions kept coming in waves. They weren't painful at all (except that No. 2 was super active and would try to move around even during contraction which hurt). Then as the movie ended they kept coming. So I started timing them and that's when I noticed they were consistently every 6 min... and it stayed that way for at least 2 hours or more... then they spaced out and I was able to fall asleep.
I pulled out "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and starting cramming like for an exam. I motored through the Ninth Month chapter and the Labour & Delivery chapter in record time, all the while experiencing mild contractions still 6 min apart.
When the book wasn't clear enough for me I turned to online help. Almost all the bogs and Answers online said "Go to the hospital" but I was ready to wait it out a bit to make sure it was real. They only want to admit you when you're 5 min or 4 min apart consistently. And I think there is pain by that point right? I mean, I understand that every woman labours differently and every pregnancy can be different too. I remember with Noah I was in pain. At least menstrual crap style pain. And last night all I had was a very active No. 2 and almost no pain during any of the contractions...
I woke up this morning and was glad and relived it isn't time yet. I quickly made up a list of what I need for the hospital and plan on packing that bag and picking out No. 2's outfit tomorrow or Monday. And we are still stuck on a middle name. I have to pick that out pronto too! We have beautiful first name (sorry, I don't wanna spoil it) but Hubby vito-ed my middle name selection. We are on the hunt for something that will go with the first name...
Well last night's close call really put things in perspective for me. I need to get my butt into gear and get the stuff ready for baby whether renos are done or not.
I'm happy to announce Hubby's office in the basement is nearing completion. First coat of primer is already on! Yay! Now just two coats of paint and carpet and we are moving the office out of the spare room and after two coats of paint in there too, I can start moving in the baby furniture :)
I can't wait!
We are now in between our friend's wedding ceremony and reception. A quick stop by home to freshen up and such... so I thought I'd share.
Well there you have it folks. I got a little taste of "spontaneous" labour and it was everything it sounds like - spontaneous and a wee bit exciting.
Then finally they started spacing out to 8 min apart then 10... so I went to sleep. But it was wild. We were almost sure it was time. Which is crazy.
It all started with me getting ready for a wedding that we have today. I was doing my nails during Devil Wears Prada, when half-way through the movie I noticed the contractions kept coming in waves. They weren't painful at all (except that No. 2 was super active and would try to move around even during contraction which hurt). Then as the movie ended they kept coming. So I started timing them and that's when I noticed they were consistently every 6 min... and it stayed that way for at least 2 hours or more... then they spaced out and I was able to fall asleep. 
I pulled out "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and starting cramming like for an exam. I motored through the Ninth Month chapter and the Labour & Delivery chapter in record time, all the while experiencing mild contractions still 6 min apart.
When the book wasn't clear enough for me I turned to online help. Almost all the bogs and Answers online said "Go to the hospital" but I was ready to wait it out a bit to make sure it was real. They only want to admit you when you're 5 min or 4 min apart consistently. And I think there is pain by that point right? I mean, I understand that every woman labours differently and every pregnancy can be different too. I remember with Noah I was in pain. At least menstrual crap style pain. And last night all I had was a very active No. 2 and almost no pain during any of the contractions...
I woke up this morning and was glad and relived it isn't time yet. I quickly made up a list of what I need for the hospital and plan on packing that bag and picking out No. 2's outfit tomorrow or Monday. And we are still stuck on a middle name. I have to pick that out pronto too! We have beautiful first name (sorry, I don't wanna spoil it) but Hubby vito-ed my middle name selection. We are on the hunt for something that will go with the first name...
Well last night's close call really put things in perspective for me. I need to get my butt into gear and get the stuff ready for baby whether renos are done or not.
I'm happy to announce Hubby's office in the basement is nearing completion. First coat of primer is already on! Yay! Now just two coats of paint and carpet and we are moving the office out of the spare room and after two coats of paint in there too, I can start moving in the baby furniture :)
I can't wait!
We are now in between our friend's wedding ceremony and reception. A quick stop by home to freshen up and such... so I thought I'd share.
Well there you have it folks. I got a little taste of "spontaneous" labour and it was everything it sounds like - spontaneous and a wee bit exciting.
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| Me, today, on pee break just before the start of the ceremony |
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Orders are sent in
I saw No. 2 this morning. He is cute! He's got a slightly different profile than Noah did. I think his nose is different. He may have my Romanian nose rather than Hubby's Slovak one. We'll see - but it does look different to me. Anyways, went up to visit the high risk OB after the ultrasound (as I do every week) and there was nothing to report, nothing to change, everything has been great. He says No. 2 is measuring around 7 lbs, 15 oz which is fine since, again, Noah was 9 lbs 9 oz and my BGs and A1Cs have been fabulous (last one was 5.9%) Yay!Then off I went to see my endocrinologist as well. Other than low BGs when I am waking up (due to really agressive wake up basals) everything is all good. We dialed back the basals a bit and then we started talking about "So once the baby is delivered..." I sat there in the chair in his office and it hit me - No. 2 is almost here. I am less than three weeks away from holding the little stinker. He explained that he'd like me to keep my pump on for labour and for the delivery and then as soon as I deliver to turn the pump off. He was telling me that he's had some ladies that went into a "honeymoon" state where they did not need a drop of insulin for up to 5 days! What?! I've heard swimming to cure diabetes but delivery too? I guess he was explaining that once that placenta ( her and I didn't really get along all that well ) is out my insulin requirements will be much much less.
Now in week 37, I am using about 36 units of insulin and we just set up the Pattern A to pre-pregnancy basals (I'll be flipping to this basal pattern as soon as No. 2 is out) to be down to 11.5 units per day. That is crazy, eh? But at first to run Pattern B which is set up to 0.0 right across the board. To watch the before meals. He said for the first meal to not bolus and then to test and see where I am at. For example if before the meal I am at BG of 4 (70s) then 2 hrs after I am at 14 (mid 200s) to correct and then only bolus for meals. If it's good, then to just keep watching it. If I find that my before meals are high to go ahead and flip back to Pattern A which is the before pregnancy basals.
He said he's sending in the orders to the OB. That means it's really soon!
He also said they will be running a sugar IV for the first 3 or 4 hours after delivery... I'm not sure how I feel about that. I would like to be able to nurse the baby and be free from tubes and all that jazz.
I haven't really talked about my plans on the blog for the delivery... mainly because I haven't formulated my "birth plan" yet. But just off the top of my head - I would like to have a natural delivery with no epidural and no episiotomy and no forceps/vacuum ... That's how it went for Noah and it was great. I mean, the delivery went smoothly - it was not great! But we made it through safely and with no complications. I figure I am already high risk why add all these other drugs and such that raise the likelyhood of other things going wonky? God created us to deliver children. I'm not trying to be a martyr and I am not a crazy extremist home-homebirther (not that there is anything wrong with women who choose to go that route - close friends of mine have had all their kids at home) - I know that is not an option for me and I wouldn't choose it even if it was. I am more comfortable at the hospital in case that something does go wrong. But I do understand that delivering a child is not a sickness - I am not at the hospital because I am sick - I am there to have a baby and these wonderful people will assist me in doing just that.
Anyways, I was much more assertive and I knew the whys and hows with Noah... I just know I want it to go off without a hitch like with Noah. I didn't refresh my research this time around. I think I will do that in the coming days. I praise God that I even have the option to have options... you know what I mean? My OB is totally flexible and is fine with whatever I choose - I told him that I trust his medical judgement and that I will be telling him only what my wishes are. If for whatever reason there is a need to intervene that is fine. Do it. But let me know. We'll discuss it and Hubby and I will let you know what decision we've come to. The OB is the expert; we are concerned and well-meaning parents. We want only the very best for mommy and baby.
Ek, as I talk about all of this I realize how unprepared I am right about now. I am so excited and I can't wait to hold No. 2 and nurse him and all of that! But at the same time I am a tad bit scared. I have a lot of wonderful friends and family praying for me - they all understand the risks involved. And I do too.
But I also understand that my God is in charge. He already knows how this will all go down and I trust in Him. I believe God. When he says he wants only good things for his children, I believe it. And when things don't go according to my plans I thank him that he knows better than me and that he still has my best interest at heart. Even with Diabetes. I know there is a reason why I have this invisible awful but manageable disease... even if I don't know what that reason is.
Stay tunned for "The Birth Plan".
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